It is not your fault!

It is not your fault!

"If only we had been home!" "If only I had not invited you!" "If only we had been watching more - paying more attention!" If only - if only - if only. 


The nature of the disease is such that a person with a substance abuse disorder loses all self-control and will power when it comes to 'using'. Abstinence is no guarantee of never 'using' again, nor of wanting to 'use'.

Triggering guilt in the ill person will have no effect, except to help them feel more worthless than they already may, and may never help loved ones feel as though they are really helping , except to make themselves feel more guilty, or unsuccessful. A paradoxical effect, isn't it?

'Using' is troublesome enough as it is, and devastating to the person with the disease, and to their family. Should someone overdose, or even die from an overdose, the guilt and blame is compounded, with interest. If only ... these questions and musings never seem to end, and become amplified with grief and sadness, while 'It is not your fault.' never seems to enter thoughts until it is all too often too late, and guilt settles in for the stay, like an unwelcome guest who will not go away.

It is not your fault. If fault were to be found, if fault could be found, it might be found with a culture and society that is so dependent on a 'pill' to cure our ills, ease our pain; ones that are so addictive they are deadly. Holistic medicine would point us in the direction of natural cures, ones that are not so deadly. Yet this is only one facet of the problem, and may never change until there is a change in our cultural view of medicine. If fault could be found, it may be found in those so willing to sell these poisons only to make money, without care for a person's life - evil beyond imagining.

Parents, families, friends, and loved ones may never stop asking the question - if only. And if only the answers would come, there possibly could be peace. We are still waiting.