Why courage? Ronald Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer asks our Higher Power, God, to help us to focus on courage, “courage to change what must be altered”, especially when enduring stressful times. Thinking back over the events following our son Mark’s passing on June 1, 2019, there were so many times Leigh and I prayed for mercy, understanding, and used the Serenity Prayer (especially me! Along with the Hard As Nails prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”) to give us strength, and courage. Leigh and I needed courage to speak with others on the phone about Mark, plan his funeral and our eulogies, events following, and then to handle his material possessions. We both need courage every day to continue to advocate for others with a substance use disorder, and to help persons seeking grief recovery through Missing Angels.
Why courage? From a woman’s point of view, Leigh has said courage is needed as there are other children, grandchildren, and family who need comfort and care, and it is not possible to just give up. Waking up each morning and working through the day requires courage.
Why courage? From a man’s point of view, it takes courage to openly grieve in public, to let tears fall when they may. The male credo is all too often to ‘soldier on’, ‘stiff upper lip’. Grief and grieving are all too often not seen as part of manliness. Men need the opportunity to grieve, to share their sorrow, though many are very reluctant.
How is it possible to live this courage daily in the wake of a tragic loss? A standpoint from faith makes it possible to pursue serenity, and courage. Loved ones still with us can provide encouragement (see the ‘courage’ in there?), and focusing on our daily chores as opportunities for ministry to others can provide a different viewpoint. This is not an easy task, and some days will be almost impossible. Those left behind have a responsibility, an obligation, to continue to speak for those who somehow lost their voice in the struggle with addiction.
